"I will not play tug o' war. I'd rather play hug o' war. Where everyone hugs instead of tugs. Where everyone giggles and rolls on the rug. Where everyone kisses, and everyone grins, and everyone cuddles, and everyone wins.”

i wish i could tell my parents that i’m slipping into my old ways and a bad place.

but they’re just so caught up with my sister and i know they see me as the good kid who has her head on straight and knows where she’s going…

but i’m not.

and i wish i could tell them that.

but i can’t.

if i felt like anyone else even gave a fuck that i was alive, then i’d tell that person. but at the moment, the feeling’s not really there.

i can fool all of you.

and that’s what i plan to do.

Don’t bother leaving a message ‘cause I’m not listening.

I think loneliness is permanent for me. I know I’m only 20 but I can’t help this feeling that I hate myself so why would anyone love me?

I live in this fantasy world where people actually like me. They want to be around me and think I’m funny and interesting. Boys find me attractive and intriguing. I’m talented and intelligent and socially aware. 

But all that’s a fantasy.

The truth is, I’m a talentless, worthless waste of space. People find me obnoxious and fat and no one really wants to ever be around me. I’m not attractive in any way, shape, or form. I act intelligent but I’m a horrible student and person.

All I want is to feel like people need me around. Like if I went away people would be sad or affected.

But they wouldn’t. No one would give a fuck.

And it’s time I start facing reality.

i resent people who can eat food and not feel like they're a worthless piece of shit afterwards.

The couple behind me is about to get punched in the goddamn throat. Go fuck yourselves and shut the fuck up.

baaaaaaaaaah.

you spin me around. the earth is moving but i can’t feel the ground.

i am human and i need to be loved...just like everybody else.